Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
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Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
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You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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