Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
