she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
All I want is dick and wine.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
