THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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