what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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