She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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