he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
