I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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