I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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