I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
