You're so nebulous sometimes
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
