it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
