Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
