cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
