Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Randomize
