He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
