jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize