I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
