Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
