shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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