Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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