I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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