just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
