I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
