i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
