i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
yeah, it was that bad.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
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he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
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Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.