i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
