chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
