Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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