Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
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I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
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Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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