Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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