She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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