Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
