watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
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She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
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The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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