READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
