I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
