Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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