So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Life without a bra equals bliss.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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