I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
