Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
