Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
