I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
