Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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