i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
