FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
love makes seman taste better
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
