If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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