Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
