where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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