Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
