We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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