Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
