She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
