put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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