You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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