can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize