He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
they're like a gay fantastic four
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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