Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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