i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
