Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
