When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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