youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize