I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
