Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
