Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Small penises have feelings too.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
